Catesismo y retiro sexual.

Posted On // 66 comments
Bueno este post se debe a la mamada de vida que exactamente viví hace tres años, tres días antes de mi cumple, pero les diré que fué lo que pasó primero.
Un día yo estaba tranquila viviendo mi vida valemadrista de niña de 9 años y llegó mi prime y me dijo hoy fuí al catesismo y los niños no sé... son como que raros, tu también metete. El fin de semana siguiente me llevaron y me inscribieron, me dí cuenta que lo que decía mi prima era verdad. Tan sólo fuí un mes, el más pesado de mi vida. L@s niñ@s eran bien nacos , las niñas por un paquete de plumas se creían un putamadral, que mandaban y eran conocidan en todos lados y apenas en su pinche casa se acordaban de su existencia;los bien flacos y mensos se creían bien gandallas, si ni pegar sabían, se sentían galanes y que nadie los merecía.
Yo iba en 4°y mi prima en 5° pero en el catesismo me pusieron en 5°creo que para no hacerlo más culero de lo que ya era. Mis catequistas nada más iban a perder el tiempo a ver que cosa nueva y desfigurosa veían, jaja pues si que veían cada que iban el finde. Metieron a mi hermana, la traumaron, siempre va a misa y está en perseverancia. Su catequista de ella era muy pero muy lujuriosa de apodo era la lujus que nada más iba a ver que nuevo ciero se ligaba y a cantar una rola que ella misma compuso que tenía el tono de una canción para niños que que decía quiero sexo.
Un día al padre todo pelón y el otro todo reggaetonero, se les ocurrió un retiro sexual que diga espiritual. Fué el día más aburrido de mi vida, el retiro duraba desde las 8 am hasta las 10 pm :S. Hacía frío y ponían música religiosa , te obligaban a quedarte aplastada escuchando como te chingaban con sus choros.
Después se apareció una vieja gorda que era una catequista, con un microfono y empezó a críticar a todo mundo, que todo era pecado, que todo era prohibido y quien sabe que. Tardó horas diciendo eso. Luego me llevaron con mis compañeros a un lugar del cual no recuerdo el nombre, pero nos empezaron a leer la biblia, así que me quedé dormida y desperté cuando la lujus gritó : ¡Que Luis mueva las chichis!, mientras ella bailaba sensualmente agitando sus atributos al padre y el padre disimulada cubrirse con la biblia pero bien que estaba viendo.
Luego hacía un putero de calor y me salió sangre la nariz y fuí a los baños, pero daban asco, las puertas las habían roto, no había papel ni jabón, tampoco bote de basura, olían a mierda, daban ganas de vomitar, había gente fajandose allí.
Ya enjuagué las manos que traía llenas de sangre, eso fué mi excusa para irme un ratito a mi casa, fué el día que más desee estar en mi casa.
Tuve que regresar a ese lugar, había una catequista bien chava, como de 15 años, la cual se puso a hablar de la vida y experiencia, que debían hacer caso a lo que ella decía.
Mi prima llegó en eso ya dijeron en que banca nos iba a tocar, era por estaturas, pero ella la iba a hacer en sábado y yo en domingo. Por suerte me tocó en la penúltima, en esa banca polvosa recuerdo que escribí: putos, pinche iglesia con bola de pendejos. Los padres no dejaron que mi hermana hiciera su primera comunión que porque no había aprendido nada, como aprendió si su catequista solo enseñaba a perrear.
El padre luego hace conciertos de rock, luego pone salsa o reggaeton para que se ponga a bailar el que quiera dentro de la iglesia.
Esto fué lo que me pasó.

66 comentarios:

aloony* dijo...

es historia verdadera?
o alucinacion psicodelica producida por el deseo d dcir algo?

o.O

-->aloony*

Jocho dijo...

uuuuuhhh los retiros son bien aburridos, y me llega que me digan que hay cosas prohibidas por la religion!!!

besos!

Jocho dijo...

bueno Elisa, has sido premiada en mi blog aquí

espero que sirva para redireccionarte tráfico y a ver si posteas tu foto con orejas de conejo

salud!

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